Am I Another Mouthpiece for the Internet?

The internet is rich with discussion. I can find an opinion or idea on literally any topic. I am able to develop a thought on any topic within seconds on the internet. However, I fear that as a developing writer, blogger, creator, and person, I sometimes forgo originality in my thought and instead become a mouthpiece for the ideas presented to me.

Of course, you are going to build your ideas off the backs of others; that is just human nature. I am a Jackson Pollock painting of everything I have ever seen. But like any artist, you may take inspiration, but you must eventually develop upon it; otherwise, it is plagiarism and not your own idea. I fear I haven’t crossed that bridge yet. Even the points I make in my writings are merely what I have come to agree with based on ideas I have heard online.

A big problem for me is the YouTube binge. I get really excited or invested in a topic. I watch video essay after video essay, read article after article, and do you know what happens? I find that they mostly agree with each other. I begin to just develop a thought worn into my brain by each passing thing consumed. Like tires driving on dirt. With each pass—or new video, in this instance—the same ideas are imprinted deeper and deeper into my mind.

A face needs to be ingrained. An opinion? That should be like a bubble floating in the air. It can rise to the surface above everything else or pop when it faces a true challenge that deems it unworthy to fly. When it comes to opinions, is standing by them because I agreed in the moment worth the mental energy?

The problem is that I am a vacuum for the slop presented to me. Online platforms defecate in front of me, expecting me to pick it up. While I may be walking the dog, I am for sure not the master in this dynamic. I want my own agency; I want my own ideas. Basically, I want to be my own person.

I find that when I come here to write or go to YouTube to speak, I worry that I am a mouthpiece of existing thought. Originality is desperately needed—especially in the modern internet, where there is a playbook for creating views and sparking outrage. The only thing I can do is to stand by my morals and what I stand to believe is true, but remain open to the possibility of change. Creating something the internet rarely sees: nuance.